Top 10 Anti-Valentine’s Day Movies

These are not movies you want to be sitting down to watch with a special someone.  These are all variations of love gone wrong, in some of the worst ways imaginable.

10. Bug – 2006 – Ashley Judd definitely plays against type in this movie as a lonely woman who buys into the unhinged delusions of a war vet.  Add The Exorcist director William Friedkin to the mix, and this is one heck of a trippy tale of love gone awry… into the depths of paranoia.

9. Oldboy – 2003 – After being imprisoned for 15 years, a man is released and given 5 days to find his captor and the reason behind his imprisonment.  Over that short time, he also develops a relationship with a young woman who tries to help him.  What follows from there, is a disturbing study on the consequences of actions.

8. Dial M for Murder – 1954 – One of Hitchcock’s many brilliant films.  Nothing goes more against the sentiments of “Be Mine” like hatching a plan to have your wife killed by blackmailing someone else in to doing it.

7. Leaving Las Vegas – 1995 – Two people meet and fall in love in Las Vegas.  Pretty basic premise for a romantic movie.  Except in this case the woman is a prostitute and the man has come to Vegas to drink himself to death. 

6. American Beauty – 1999 – Witness the unravelling of a suburban, middle-America family as the suburban dad goes through the ultimate mid-life crisis, his marriage falls apart, and he lusts after his daughters best friend.  Not the only appearance that director Sam Mendes will be making on this list.

5. Blood Simple – 1984 – First film by the Coen brothers.  Once again, a murder plan hatched because of an unfaithful spouse.  While Hitchcock’s classic has its own unforseen problems arise for the characters involved, this one has a whole other, far bloodier path it follows to its conclusion.

4. Fatal Attraction – 1987 – The worst case scenario for any instance of infidelity.  Ever.  A cautionary tale of the highest degree.  Love the one you are with people.  Or else.

3. Closer – 2004 – Four characters, two male and two female, interact over the course of several years as they drop in and out of relationships with each other.  We are shown pretty much only the beginnings and bitter endings of these relationships.  None of the characters are likeable or redeemable.

2. Audition – 1999 – A widower sets up a fake audition for a movie role as a ruse to find a suitable woman to begin a relationship with instead.  He settles on Asami, a seemingly innocent, shy young woman.  But appearances are deceiving.  Worst-case-scenario for either using manipulation to score a date or dating the quiet, unassuming types of ladies.

1. Revolutionary Road – 2008 – Congratulations, Sam Mendes.  I was going to make Audition the #1, but this movie takes it because it is truer to life than Miike’s J-Horror film.  Slightly more than 10 years after making the “perfect” tragic love pairing in Titanic, DiCaprio and Winslet re-teamed on the screen for this movie of a 50s suburban couple whose marriage disintegrates before our eyes, with their two children in the middle of it all.  Few movies have left me as depressed as this movie did.

~Moose

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